what is russia?

things i almost remember...this side.

the rush of wind in my face as a train approaches.  сочни.  immediate connections.  пакеты рива гоша.  the closeness of public transit.  darya pushkina's skin tight leather pants.  тоска.  nights of wandering the streets with katya and stas.  dancing all night on думская.  feeling like a potato all bundled up.  mars bars.  маршрутки.  sunshine on ice crystals in the air--like glitter.  20 ways to uncork a bottle of wine without a corkscrew.  sakai announcements.  air so cold you can't breathe.  walks across the neva.  endless hours wandering the hermitage. always wondering what my next meal will entail.  чудо.  deep, dark thoughts.  free hugs on nevsky.  banya bliss.  fried eggs and fishsticks.  the realization that the murse is alive and well.  towering lenin statues.  the sweater.  ta-ta's.  the feeling of contentment after a бизнес ланч.  good tea/bad coffee.  watching "friends" during dinner with olga.  heart-to-hearts and cider in park lomonosova.  being keen.  rocking out to gogol bordello/bon jovi in double bar.  honesty. яблочный сок.  jim chambers.  eating blini everyday of maslenitsa.  the thrill of running down the escalator.  heinous haircuts.  sunshine breaking through the grey.  тапочки.  cloves.  that dark and twisty day.  pistachio ice cream cones.  always seeing someone i know on nevsky.  the first day i didn't have to wear a shuba.  чудо in the nude-o.  long escalator rides.  glorious babushki--gold toothed, beautifully lined, platok covered--selling on the street, grabbing my hand, bossing me around, yelling at me.  riding the пятёрка.  near death experiences.  the illusion that i had a lot of work during midterms.  pazhalusta man.  escape in gilmore girls and алиса.  so much ЧАЙ.  late night ленд runs.  getting jagged.  church hopping, lighting candles, soaking in the spirituality.  toasted apt.  shoe stores on vladimirsky.  pigeon friends.  кальян.  realizing the universality of sports.  smolny security.  questioning everything i thought to be true.  ирландская катастрофа on st. patty's day.  scrabble.  булочки.  the first sight of the sidewalk. random dudes peeing in my двор.  the lowering of standards.  philharmonic.  prado exhibit.  2 liter bottles of water.  watching the bridges go up and down.  cacs.  chinese четверг.  только CKA, только победа.  letters/emails from home.  nasha masha.  always smelling like smoke.  birthday shots via skype.  dvor pets are your pets.  sitting on roofs at primo.  the boys' homework beers.  feeling proud for accomplishing stupid things.  pda.  cars driving on the sidewalk.  дворцовая плошадь cleared for the first time.  lying on my диван doing absolutely nothing.  the war of the kopecks with the stolovaya lady.  most epic human wave ever.  выборг.  dokumenti.  nutella gluttony.  cats in the post office.  perfectly shaped snowflakes.  милиция/полиция.  hanging in the scrabble room.  10 rub grechka from the stolovaya.  adams, matt kendall, elena, yulia.  ребята.  forgetting what it's like to live in america.  солнечные зайчики.  swing dancing in the galleria.  cowboys and indians.  the transit trance.  oversized bananas.  impromptu street music.  don't think twice, it's alright.  being called zaichka/lizinka/lizachka.  taste-testing pastries at printmaking.  olga's pirog.  dates with arielle in the park.  russian bebes.  shaverma wednesday with meagan.  СПБ.  cat litter smell of the pochta.  family of бомжи in my dvor.  romances.  first time i felt hot.  tutoring sesh with lena, dasha, and fedya.  hedgehog kisses.  late nights at styop's and ashley's apt.  fruit stands on the street.  sitting and thinking on the fontanka.  honey beer in novgorod.  easter.  getting yelled at every day.  marina olegovna.  шашлики.  aimless strolls through the city.  buying a bottle of vodka at 9 in the morning and not looking like an alcoholic.  крестный вход at midnight.  tvorog.  зоологический музей.  pigeons splashing in the fountain.  pushkin.  daily trips to дикси.  smolny printing room.  question: what is life before russia.  book club.  giving directions successfully.  yogurt and muesli.  ремонт.  nasha masha, masha blondinka, that other masha.  tutoring at тёплом доме.  olga phonetica's red boots.  full satisfaction in a moment.  dark and twisty days.  pickled подарки with larachka.  being wooed at the рынке.  midterm meetings with darya, lyudmila petrovna and adams.  my cell phone.  смузи.  the sound of music.  rollerskaters.  walks through primorskaya.  all-nighters on the zaliv.  emily's snarkiness.  lara's love of ёжки.  cafe premium.  sunsets.  белые ночи.  museum night with ariellechka.  the turkmenis.  always being covered in ink.  прогулки.  my indestructible room.  кофе хауз.  sitting on my bed reading my dictionary.  hp sorting.  pure and perfect moments.  realizing that письменная речь is fun when we just talk to natalya.  setting a 57 minute record.  teremok.  point system of nationalism.  ksenia.  the look on semyonov's face when he realized he was about to teach class in russian.  блин.  the deep spirituality of an orthodox service.  the faces of the people i pass everyday.  max's friend on galernaya.  synchronized applause.  rhodes reminiscing with jake.  adams's analogies: pokemon, gills.  the stolovaya lady.  smolny.  the randomness of everyday life.  ♥piter.             

Питер.

tea time wisdom.

"I make the most of all that comes, and the least of all that goes."

nevsky prospekt.

"the devil himself lights the street lamps to show everything in false colors"

-gogol

*yet somehow we managed to see clearly...or did we?

a snapshot of kiev.

tourism and immigration.

Last night my friend Sasha shared with me an anecdote.

A man dies.  He has lived a good life but is given a choice: heaven or hell.  Unable to make up his mind, he asks if he can visit both places before he decides.  He visits heaven where everyone is sitting around calmly and peacefully.  He thinks that it is nice but maybe a bit boring.  He then visits hell.  It is like a big party.  Everyone is sitting around drinking beer and vodka having a good time.  After he has visited both places he is asked again where he would like to spend the afterlife.  Since the man has lived a quiet but upstanding life, he decides he wants to party in hell.  But as soon as he gets to hell the devil grabs him and throws him in a frying pan.  The man is immediately in shock.  As he lies frying in the pan he exasperatedly exclaims to the devil, "When I visited before it was a great party!  That is what I thought hell would be like."  The devil responds, "There is difference between tourism and immigration."

And this, kids, is why I have to come back to America.  Because if I don't I'm going to be fried up like a kotlet and eaten by the devil (I'm pretty sure that's how one of Dostoevsky's characters met his end).