Caught in the Middle

I think that lately the initial shock of being in a foreign place has finally worn off a bit (only 2 months after arrival).  I’ve slowly realized that I’m here for the long haul, a thought that is both awesome and somewhat of a reality check.  I’m still just as glad to be here as I was when I first arrived.  This city is amazing, and every day is an adventure.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when I return home and am without the constant stimulation of city life.  All the same, I miss all the people at home that I love so much.  Half the time I think about how I want to stop time because the semester is flying away, and how I never want to leave St. Petersburg.  The other half of the time I think about my family and friends at home, wonder what they’re doing without me, and think about all the wonderful things that I will do with them when we are reunited.  It’s a beautiful conflict, really.  More than anything, I’ve realized just how blessed I am to be given so many amazing relationships and opportunities both here in Russia and at home.  That’s something that I’ve always known, but it’s something that I feel even more strongly when I take a step back from my normal life.  Now, more than ever, I realize the importance of savoring each sweet moment wherever I am.    

Snow, Snow, GO AWAY!!

Looks like the "Here Comes the Sun" post was a little too premature.  

Snow's a fallin' yet again.  Come on, Spring!  You can do it!

Things I Almost Remember

So yesterday I was making my normal commute back home from Smolny.  I was riding down Nevsky, smashed into the corner of a crowded trolleybus.  My mind numbly wandered as I fell into the “transit trance.”  I pulled out my hand-me-down, pay-as-you-go Nokia that I use in Russia to check a text message.  As I looked at its beat up keys and struggled yet again to type a message in Russian without the help of predictive text, I laughed silently at how ridiculous my Russian phone is.  But then I had the strangest realization: I couldn’t remember what my phone (in America) looks like.  I began to rack my brain to remember, but I simply couldn’t do it.  This is a object that I have looked at a countless number of times every day over the last three years, yet two months without it and I have forgotten it completely.  I spent the rest of the way home trying to remember, but it was not until I made it to my room where I dug it out of my suitcase and saw it with my own eyes that I remembered.  To be honest this was a really stupid occurrence, but it made me realize just how engrained I am in my life here, and how much I am forgetting about life in America.  It’s not like I am forgetting important things, like my friends and family, but the little things, like what my cell phone looks like, are becoming hazy.  It’s crazy to think how much my life has changed over the last two months.  And it works the other way around.  The little things that happen on a daily basis here that I used to think were strange don’t seem so strange anymore.  Honestly I don’t know what is really normal for me anymore.  Living abroad has made that a fact.  And I really love it.  I love not knowing what to expect or what is coming next.  It is a fast and free way of life that is never boring.  Right now I feel like I don’t remember the little things of American life very well, but I know that when I return, I’ll feel the same way about Russia.  The little things will become a blur.  My biggest fear is waking up in America and thinking, “Were the last six months a dream?”  I want to hold onto every memory and every feeling, both good and bad.  But I can’t.  They come and go so quickly.  So for now I’ll live every moment in its own time savoring its wonder and beauty, and I’ll hope desperately that when I am home, I can somehow remember.  

Oh, Russia...

...you never cease to make me smile!

Here Comes the Sun

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right. 


Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter. 


Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. 


Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces. 


Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here. 


Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting. 


Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear. 


Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right. 


It's all right.

Только СКА! Только победа!

This week I went to my first Russian hockey game (and second hockey game at all).  CKA, St. Petersburg’s professional hockey team, were in the semi-finals of the playoffs against Атлант, Moscow's professional team.  To be honest I really had no idea what to expect.  My night began with the most crowded metro ride I have experienced thus far.  The stadium is located at the end of the metro line, so at every single stop the train became more and more full.  In Russia, people don't see a full car and say, «Oh, I'll just wait for the next one».  No, they use the power of numbers to ram their way into the car.  Just when I thought we couldn't add one more person, we would add at least ten more.  Public transportation really is a joyous thing.  I got crammed in the middle of three tall men and a young couple around seventeen who spent the ride talking about me and trying to decide which Scandanavian  country I was from based on my eyes, hair color, etc.  It's really annoying when people do this.  I wanted to snidely turn to them and say, «Hey, I understand Russian.  If you want to know where I'm from, just ask», but I figured that we had to ride in very close quarters for at least three more stops so it probably wasn't worth it.  

Once we arrived to our final stop the crowds poured from the train station, decked out in their red, white and blue CKA attire.  I met up with my friends, and we were swept up into the crowd of rowdy (and some already drunk) fans on their way to the stadium.  Immediately we were suprised by how «American» everything felt inside the stadium (Western-style architecture, clean bathrooms with TP (a rarity in Russia), American music blasting in the background, etc).  We grabbed our snacks from the overpriced concession stand and began to make our way to our seats so that we could enjoy the very American pasttime of eating a hot dog while spectating a sporting event.  But on our way to our section we realized that everyone else was hurriedly eating their food and chugging their beers right outside of the doors to the seats.  Oops.  We realized that we were a little to quick to assume that this was just like America (This is never something wise to assume when you're not in America!).  We quickly joined in the scarfing of the hotdogs and rushed to our seats, not wanting to miss a thing.  When we stepped into the rink, we were immediately blown away by the energy and excitement of the crowd.  Not a seat was left unoccupied and all were yelling cheers for our team.   I was immediately overstimulated, not knowing what I should take in first: the scantily-clad Russian cheerleaders? the organized cheers/flag waving of the regular spectators? the team mascot who was repeatedly running into a wall? the kiss cam on the big screen? or hey, the actual game?  As much as I was distracted, I did my best to focus on the game.  CKA scored an early goal and the crowd went wild (until Атлант came back to tie the game).  They remained tied for the majority of the game, but in the last five minutes Атлант came back and scored for the win knocking CKA out of the playoffs.  Sad.  I was really hoping for a win, of course, but to be honest I wasn’t too disappointed because the entire experience was a victory in itself.  I learned lots of new Russian cheers (Питер! Шайбу! Армецей с Невы! Только СКА, Только победа!), I experienced the most epic crowd wave, which went on for at least five minutes straight and included coordinated signs, and I watched the five year-old girl in front of me try to imitate the suggestive dances of the cheerleaders as her papa beamed with pride (typical).  Overall, it was a win of a night. 

It’s cool to see how sports really are universal.  The energy and sentiment of the game can be felt and understood by all.  Language is not necessary to share in the celebration of a scored goal or a successful block.  No words are necessary.  So often I am aware of the limitations of my Russian, and it can be very frustrating and discouraging when I can't express the nuances of my ideas and feelings.  For that reason I love to get lost in these moments of real connection without language.  It's true that we say so much with language, but we say so much more without it.  And that is a beautiful thing.     

Lara and Styopa speed-eating their hotdogs.

Kiss cam.

Hey, they're actually playing HOCKEY!

We ♥ CKA!

Cheerleader wanna-be and proud papa.

Cheerleaders and mascot.

A few seconds of the most epic wave ever.

Excited fans.  Love, love, love those hooligani.  

And to Rachel Stowe, I tried really hard to find you a husband at the game but no luck.  I think you just need to come over here and look for yourself...yeah, I like that plan better:)

I ♥ Peter.