You know you've been in Russia too long when...

(things I realized while in Helsinki)

1.  You can't find the light switch because it's actually in the bathroom.
2.  You see the back of a statue and assume it's Lenin.
3.  You stare at someone and are surprised when they smile back.  
4. You get excited to see a dishwasher and toaster in your apartment, but then wonder what you're supposed to do with them.  
5. You audibly exclaim "YES!" in a cafe when you are told you can drink the tap water.
6. You order a salad and are pleasantly surprised when it contains no mayo at all.
7. You are shocked to get your coffee for free when the credit card machine doesn't work instead of being turned away. 
8. You prepare to fight in order pay for your lunch with a 100 euro note but later realize that you'd never get hassled for big bills or inexact change outside of Russia.
9. You're shocked when a sales clerk asks if she can help you with anything.
10. You almost start crying from joy in the grocery store because you forgot how many kinds of food the world offers.
11. Your friend threatens that the only way she is letting you take her back to Russia is in a body bag.
12. Your breakfast of Honey Nut  Cheerios feels like high dining.
13. You are hesitant to cross the street and are shocked when cars actually stop to let you cross and then wave and blow kisses at you.  
14. You think it's a big deal to drink a cup of coffee that doesn't taste like muddy water. 
15. Someone speaks to you in English and you respond in Russian.  
16. Even though you're no longer in Russia, everything you talk about is still Russia-related.
17. You are paranoid that people are going to break you in line if you don't stand touching the person in front of you and push them.
18. You say that you are ready to go home and mean Russia.
19. Your friend throws up from eating Indian food because she hasn't tasted spice in 3 months.
20. You get excited to hear tourists speaking Russian because they are speaking your "native" tongue.
21. You think that every boy you see is hot just because he doesn't have a mullet and has showered recently.
22. You think a bar bathroom is really clean.