Last night my friend Sasha shared with me an anecdote.
A man dies. He has lived a good life but is given a choice: heaven or hell. Unable to make up his mind, he asks if he can visit both places before he decides. He visits heaven where everyone is sitting around calmly and peacefully. He thinks that it is nice but maybe a bit boring. He then visits hell. It is like a big party. Everyone is sitting around drinking beer and vodka having a good time. After he has visited both places he is asked again where he would like to spend the afterlife. Since the man has lived a quiet but upstanding life, he decides he wants to party in hell. But as soon as he gets to hell the devil grabs him and throws him in a frying pan. The man is immediately in shock. As he lies frying in the pan he exasperatedly exclaims to the devil, "When I visited before it was a great party! That is what I thought hell would be like." The devil responds, "There is difference between tourism and immigration."
And this, kids, is why I have to come back to America. Because if I don't I'm going to be fried up like a kotlet and eaten by the devil (I'm pretty sure that's how one of Dostoevsky's characters met his end).
A man dies. He has lived a good life but is given a choice: heaven or hell. Unable to make up his mind, he asks if he can visit both places before he decides. He visits heaven where everyone is sitting around calmly and peacefully. He thinks that it is nice but maybe a bit boring. He then visits hell. It is like a big party. Everyone is sitting around drinking beer and vodka having a good time. After he has visited both places he is asked again where he would like to spend the afterlife. Since the man has lived a quiet but upstanding life, he decides he wants to party in hell. But as soon as he gets to hell the devil grabs him and throws him in a frying pan. The man is immediately in shock. As he lies frying in the pan he exasperatedly exclaims to the devil, "When I visited before it was a great party! That is what I thought hell would be like." The devil responds, "There is difference between tourism and immigration."
And this, kids, is why I have to come back to America. Because if I don't I'm going to be fried up like a kotlet and eaten by the devil (I'm pretty sure that's how one of Dostoevsky's characters met his end).
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